Go Let it Out

Gonna try and keep this entry shorter than usual since I really should be hitting the hay soon. But this news is too big not to blog about (yes for once I actually have something to blog about rather than my mindless rantings as usual). Who has two thumbs and is gonna speak at the SI Winter Graduation ceremony? This guy! You heard correct, Da Choi is gonna bring Da Truth at graduation. Actually, Sylvie, the President of the School of Information Student Association (SISA), was supposed to speak since it is customary that the SISA president give a few remarks. However, she cannot make it due to scheduling conflicts. So I am filling in. Lest any of you think that people attending the graduation are getting a raw deal by having me, the SISA Treasurer, speak rather than the SISA President, I will point out a thorough and careful vetting process was used to select me as the replacement speaker. As in I just happened to be in the hallway when Sylvie and Xiao-wen were talking about it. So I have looking at good graduation speeches for ideas. For example, I am looking at speeches given by Al Franken, Conan O'Brien, John Stewart, and of course, Da Ali G. But for those you who can't wait until December when the ceremony is, here is a little sneak preview:

Thank you Dean Frost. It is a honor to be able to address these fine graduates and their friends and family who trucked their asses out here for this ceremony in the freezing and snowy conditions of a Michigan winter. AS some of you may know, I was not supposed to be addressing you today. The SISA President, Sylvie Khajuria, is supposed to be giving these remarks. Unfortunately, she could not be here today. I know she wanted to be here very badly. So if you indulge me for a minute, I would like to read some of her speech.

"To the Winter graduates of 2005: Congratulations on the completion of your degrees. You should be honored because it is quite achievement to graduate from this fine insitution. I would like to impart on you some wisdom that has helped me through the years. Growing up, I was always reminded of my Indian heritage and how that would help shape me into the woman I am today. I always remember the lessons of my childhood everytime I drive out to the outlet mall here in Michigan. I think what has helped me the most is my Holy Trinity of Microsoft, Starbucks and Payless. These corporate behemoths have resolutely stood by my side as they have monopolistically taken over markets everywhere and gentrified what used to be unique and vibrant communities all over this great nation."

As you can see, Sylvie has much wisdom to impart. I also have wisdom to impart. I will try not to dish out the same cliches and catch-phrases that have been used in so many graduation speeches before. That would unoriginal and uncreative...you know borrowing ideas without crediting them and using them as your own. I don't think that applies to a single person attending this graduation ceremony. Nope none at all. Anyway, I also would like to share three short and simple lessons to you before you leave here for your future careers, be it in academica, industry, or the porno industry (wink wink)

Lesson #1: Always be grateful to those who have supported you. Nobody achieves great success without the help of others. No man is an island, except maybe King Kong. These past two years, or if you are Nabeeha (take out laser pointer and point at Nabeeha) or Cameron (point laser at Cameron) then one and a half years since they think they are better than all their classmates and chose to get the hell out of here then apparently suffer through another semester of us, many people have helped you out. They may be friends, classmates, family, staff and faculty members, the School of Information, the University of Michigan, and no doubt the Department of Education and many fine financial institutions such as Citibank, Fannie Mae, and Bank of America through students loans that will no doubt take up much of your future paychecks. Just remember to be thankful for the companionship, wisdom, guidance you have received during your time. Most of all, you should be grateful to me. You should feel honored that you are about to become some of the many little people that I will step over and take advantage of in my journey to the top. It is a select group.

Lesson #2: Beware of expectations. You have to be your person. Society has many confining expectations that you need to break free from. Whether it be out-moded expectations that a woman's place is in the home or the ludricious expectation that it is not OK to spit at annoying people, these expectations can hold you back. Break free of them and you'll find yourself more liberated and, undoubtly, pants-free.

Lesson #3: Remember that you are part of history. Many graduation speakers often state to the graduates they are addressing that if they do a certain thing (be more tolerant, help end poverty, address the injustices in the world, etc) that they will be considered the "greatest generation." I am sorry to say this, but that ain't gonna happen. Not every graduating class can be part of the greatest generation. The definition of "greatest" is that you are greater than anyone else. If everyone is the greatest generation than, in fact, nobody is since everybody is "great." But just remember that you are part of history and it is your responsiblity to leave the world in better shape than you came into it. And what involves is, I don't know, not starting unnecessary wars based off trumped up intelligence, giving tax cuts to old rich people while saddling the younger generations with massive amounts of debt, fucking over the environment for short term gains while leaving younger generations the task of cleaning up. Not that I am being political or anything. But I think the best way I can illustrate this lesson is by quoting, The Who, from their song, "My Generation"

People try to put us d-down!!!! (Talkin' 'bout my generation)!!!!
Just because we g-g-get around!!!! (Talkin' 'bout my generation)!!!!
Things they do look awful c-c-cold!!!! (Talkin' 'bout my generation)!!!!
Yeah, I hope I die before I get old!!!! (Talkin' 'bout my generation)!!!!

This is my generation!!!!!
This is my generation, BABY!!!!

(Air Guitar Peter Townsend's guitar solo with windmills and light podium on fire)

And on that note, thank you and congratulations.


It will be a speech of the ages. I really gotta go so until next time, Peace.